Even if you are the most confident person in the world, a breakup can rattle you.
Any major change in life can be scary, and it can cause you to reflect on yourself. While reflection is a good thing, it can quickly spiral into feelings of self-doubt and insecurity if you’re not careful. If your self esteem has taken a blow as a result of your divorce, know that you’re not alone and that you will get through this. Here, I will discuss some ways that you can maintain or improve your self esteem after a divorce.
Confront the Issues
Denial can feel amazing, but at some point reality is going to catch up with you. Being honest with yourself about your divorce, your emotions about it, and where to go from here is a necessary step in recovering and maintaining your confidence. You might want to write about your feelings or express them in some other way.
Therapy at this time can also be extremely helpful. I have a therapist friend who likes to say that everyone has something to work on and everyone can benefit from therapy in some way. I think that this is so true! Especially if you are going through a rough time, therapy can give you the skill set that you need to continue loving yourself and taking care of yourself.
Seek Support – From Yourself and Others
Deeply looking at yourself and examining your divorce can be painful. It can also bring you down and lower your self esteem. To bring that self esteem back up, you will need positive reinforcement. The support of your friends and family at this time will be crucial. You will be amazed at how supportive your good friends and family will be at this time.
When people reach out to you, make sure that you reflect on their efforts and your relationship with them. Be grateful for the efforts that they make to help you through this difficult time. Their willingness to help you is a reflection on how much you mean to them and how much they love you. This positivity and gratitude should help you feel good about yourself.
It is also important to be good to yourself at this time. It is easy to focus on what went wrong in your marriage and to blame yourself for marital problems. Again, this reflection can be useful to you as you improve yourself and your ability to be in relationships. But give yourself some credit! The divorce was not all your fault, and you are a good person. Make sure that you spend time working on self-affirmations and positivity. Make a list of your strengths and remember that you are only human! Focus on these strengths and pursue them.
Embrace Your New Life
Divorce means change, and this change can be good. You will have more time to explore your passions. Trying new things or devoting time to your old passions can be an immense confidence booster. When you try something new, you prove to yourself that you can learn a new skill. When you explore old hobbies, you remind yourself that there are things that you are good at. Reflecting on these strengths will help you improve your self esteem in the long run.
Declutter and Simplify
Many people believe that our environment impacts our mood. Taking some time to care for your body and your surroundings can yield great results. Is your house or apartment cluttered? Have you neglected your household chores? Have you neglected yourself? This is a great time to work on improving your living space, getting rid of things that you don’t need, and caring for yourself. Doing this will work wonders on your mood!
These are just a few ways to improve your self esteem after divorce. For more information on divorce or self-care, please contact my office.